My personal history with spirituality

October 10, 2023

When I was in my mother’s womb, my father thought he knew nothing about rising children.

He went to a small library and the librarian gave him the book “Education for Freedom” by Rudolf Steiner.

So began a life for my parents and for me in the awareness that everything has soul and that our world follows laws that are not invented by humans.


I was born at home in Berlin (West) and then had to spend a week in an incubator with jaunice.

This happend in my second week on Earth – And it surely had an impact on my life. As I know today with my two children, little babies feel save especially when they are close to their mother.


My parents soon moved to the countryside wanted to become self-sufficient, grow their own food and be closer to Nature.

We had many animals, I was always out in Nature, learned that a fairy lives in every flower, commute with my mother, learned to know natural healing substances and was sent into the forest to find elves and gnomes, there were crystals in rooms and water… Me and my brother went to a Steiner school, where they live with the belief of angels, are close to Nature and “try” to see in every child something special and not something that needs to be filled with knowledge.


Then my mother got sick.

She believed she could heal herself with the power of Nature alone.

She hugged trees for hours, swirled water, had leeches put on her…

She died.

I no longer believed in self-healing.


I kept in touch with her for quite a while.

Through the spiritual world.

I was looking for her in the subtal fields of infinity.

Until I became a teenager and felt sorry for myself about not having a mother like my friends. I was also ashamed in front of her for my normal teenage sexual lusts.

So I let go of contact with the spiritual world and lived my human life…

I also left Steiner school for a “normal” school.


My father, deeply saddened by the loss of my mother, took refuge in spirituality and joined a “community of faith” for a few years.

And I never got tired of hearing of his wisdom about the etheric body, life after death… and much more.

Since part of his theory was that no one could escape its lessons, I decided to drop the spiritual teachings and dive into life.

Always in an intuitive connection with a higher leadership.


It was only when I acted against this guidance and plunged myself into deep misery for a decade with open eyes that I also knew I needed this in order to meet my lessons and karmic knots and to become aware of the love that always guides us. The love that we are!


I was lucky – my parents lived with and sought contact with this love and they never forced me to do the same. They left me to my freedom. This made it very easy for me to find my way back. This time aware.


But this love and guidance is always there in and for all of us – many feel it in Nature…


I am very happy today with my history – but I struggeled a lot – had always the feeling of not fitting into any of this constructs here…


My Art is available for you.